Friday, 9 July 2010

My 'rules'

Image source - Creative Commons
As an opening caveat to this post I have to say I HATE RULES! Impose a rule on me, and while I might be meekly nodding my head and smiling at you, inside I'm saying WHATEVER and waiting for you to leave the room before I do just the opposite ;-) I am, sometimes to my own detriment, fiercely stubborn and won't be told what to do. I do however, have a few self-imposed rules...which is what this post is about.

A few months back, I mentioned that inspired by the blog 1001 rules for my unborn son, I would draw up a few rules for my unborn daughter. In fact I wrote this post ages ago but what with one thing and another I never got round to posting it. Of course I haven’t called the post ‘1001 rules for my unborn daughter’ firstly because I don’t have the time or inclination to write 1001 rules about anything; secondly because I am single and having a daughter feels like a very, very long way off; and thirdly, I’m sure any future daughter really does not need the pressure of following a whole load of rules before she even exists - plus I secretly hope she's as rebellious as I have always been! I apologise in advance if some of these sound a bit preachy or banal, but really these are a just few little pointers I try to (and sometimes fail to) apply, that provide me with a bit of compass help in the crazy map of life. I would never judge anyone else for not having the same ‘rules’....hmm, or would I? ;-) In any case, I’d have to admit that despite rule 7 below, my house doesn’t always smell of roses, in fact it never does. Ok, now I’ve absolved myself of breaking rule number 14 , here goes, 25 (22 really) rules for girls...

1. Always, always wear a scarf in winter. It should be really soft and never scratch your skin.
2. A good base, blush, mascara and lip balm will make you look fresh as a daisy.
3. Buy seamless knickers to avoid VPL. Flesh coloured underwear is a necessary evil under certain garments.
4. People do judge you on the watch you wear, if you don't care about this they can get lost, if you do, don't wear a watch.
5. Don’t save your best clothes and perfumes for special occasions which may or may not come. Celebrate now.
6. Carry tissues and something to freshen your breath in your hand-bag.

At home
7. A home should smell nice. Use lightly scented candles, wood polish, good quality Japanese incense (which isn't smoky like the Indian variety) or even bake a cake (yeah, right). Open the windows.
8. Do not collect things. In this modern, mobile life they will drag you down. Use the one-in-one-out rule when considering what new things to bring into your home. In the words of William Morris, surround yourself only with things that are beautiful to look at or completely useful.
9. Even if you’re not into cooking, have one starter, two main courses, one salad and one dessert that you can prepare well.
10. Have nice, comfy ‘at home’ outfits and sleepwear, you will feel so much less skanky when DHL drop off that parcel or someone pops by unexpectedly. Spain is a really good place to buy an 'oh, I was just lounging around in this ever-so-sexy leisure suit' outfit. For super cheap and fashionable but will fall apart in months try Oysho, or for expensive and fashionable and will fall apart in months, Women's Secret.

11. If he likes you, he will call you back, fast. If you have an inkling that your not that into him or that he’s not that into you, unless you are paranoid, trust those instincts - something is probably wrong.
12. Love, for me, is a verb (ok, if there are any English teachers out there let’s not get into a debate about stative verbs!). Which means you don’t just love someone by passively being in madly in love and having delicious fantasies about the object of your affection, but by doing, by actively loving, and yes that includes taking out the rubbish.
13. I had what I thought to be quite a cool relationship rule here, but have since had to delete it as it blatantly doesn’t work :-(

14. Listen to yourself before you criticize others and ask ‘Am I really one to talk?’ Otherwise we fall too easily into hypocrisy and petty judgementalism.
15. The little things count; a kind word, a pretty flower, a kiss or a squeeze of the hand, remembering a birthday. Most of us have such sporadic control over the big things that in a way I think what sums us up just as importantly at the end of our lives are the small gestures we make and moments we share. Cheesy but true.
16. I'm guilty of this on occasion, but eating in public (e.g. walking down the street or on public transport) does not make for pleasant watching. I only noticed this recently on visits back to the UK, where the constant street-munching is so not pretty. When you have to do so make it as discreet and odour-free as possible.
17. Brash, aggressive, mouthy behaviour is as unattractive in women as it is in men. In public at least, be a lady... (after a couple of drinks I am anything but a
18. Know how to genuinely be and say sorry when you make a mistake.
19. Do people favours and don’t be afraid to ask for them from time to time. No woman is an island. The whole asking favours thing is something I struggle with, but I'm getting better.

20. No matter where you’re going you never need to pack more than 3 pairs of shoes; A comfortable daytime shoe that is smart enough to wear in a sit-down restaurant, an evening shoe, and finally either pool-side or trekking footwear depending on where you going. (I learnt this rule to my peril one shoe-tastic summer in Italy).
21. Try to learn to say hello, goodbye, please, thank you, yes and no in the language of the countries you visit. It will be much appreciated by the locals (usually) and if you can’t be bothered to buy a phrasebook you can get free tutorials on youtube.

22. And finally, don't let me tell you what to do, the rules were meant to be broken :-)


Spiro said...

this is lovely!

Nadya - said...

Glad you enjoyed it :-) xx

Steve said...

Very cool and insightful. ;-)

Anonymous said...

I like these rules! Us boys ALWAYS note VPL (amongst other things), and I too believe one is judged by their choice of watch (as well as shoes. The two things a salesman will always use to size up a customer.) I'm almost inspired to write a list of my own from a male perspective, but I won't (…yet) for fear of it turning into a scathing rant against sports clothing, plastic wheeled luggage and shiny suits.

Your blog is quite brilliant! Though sadly, a good deal of your sound feminine advice is wasted on this Monster Truck and Wrestling loving red-blooded male.

Where do you buy your Japanese incense?

Nadya - said...

Monster Trucks and wrestling - can't get much more testosterone-fuelled than that! Go for it, do the male list - hairy armpit exposure on the metro in summer ought to be high up there on the list ;-)
The Japanese incense is from little shop on C/Argumosa on Lavapies - it's great as it smells of clean stuff like cedar rather than stinky patchouli!

Nadya - said...

Thanks Steve! x

Anonymous said...

Fantastic list! Is 34 too late to start taking some of your advice? Regarding No. 3 may I say that M&S no VPLs are the most comfy undies ever, well worth the price and they deliver to Spain!!!

Nadya - said...

Hi Debs! I'll have to try those M&S knickers - I complain about VPL on others but I'm convinced I go around with it myself half the time!!

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