Monday, 14 June 2010

Look in the mirror and what do I see?

A smiley girl, a stable girl (as in solid, not as in works with horses), and these days a bit of a stressed girl. I have a confession to make -yoga is stressing me out, Yes, yoga, my panacea, my antidote to anxiety :-) To be fair, I don't think it's really yoga that's winding me up. I think it's the pressure I feel to get to 3 classes a week on time (silly as that might sound), to go running, to do my best at work, to run a tight ship at home, to have a good social life, to be a good friend, to learn the basic rudiments of French, to read books that'll make me think and to try and keep the freelance work coming in yet not allow it to devour me. This is mostly self-induced pressure of course and the crazy thing is I felt less stressed when I was working 7 days a week just a month back - ironic!

I know it sounds like I'm being self-indulgent and whining about nothing - after all it's not like I have a load of kids to look after, and I realise I'm lucky to have '2 jobs' during a recession and be able to indulge in activities which improve my quality of life. However, it seems like my promise to self from a couple of weeks ago is becoming a bit of a ball and chain. And as for yoga, I'm finding the constant and slightly pressing invitations from the teacher to go to weekend yoga retreats with 'the group' or eat vegetarian food a little, well, tiresome. This will sound weird, but I also feel as if I'm supposed to be dating - even though I don't really want to and don't have time to. Neverthless, people who know me tell me I seem really happy and erm 'glowing' - their words, not mine I promise! (it's the Guerlain) So I guess I must be very good at giving the outside appearance of having an active and fulfilling life with none of the downsides.

It's not all bad of course, blogging is not remotely stressful. Over the past 2 years I have turned to 'here' again and again in moments of stress and strife, and I'm incredibly thankful to have this form of release :-) Anyway, onwards and upwards I say, I need to look for solutions to this percieved problem - perhaps I just ought to do less and do it well rather than trying to be superwoman. After all the only person I'm trying to prove stuff to here is me, and 'me' could sure do with being a bit more understanding!


Vanessa said...

Bonjour Nadya! J'espère que tu vas bien. Je suis ton blog avec toujours autant de plaisir :-)
About yoga you're welcome to my yoga center (Sivananda in Madrid) although they're maybe a bit far away in the north for you. But they do have free trial classes every week so it's nice at least to be able to have a look. And they're pretty easy going folks, never felt pressured...
Talk to you soon! A bientôt!

Nadya said...

Bonjour Vanessa! tout ets bien (is that correct?!) though a little stress these days. I think I will definitely try out your yoga studio, maybe in July when I finish at 3 every day :-) How are things with you? Anyway we should arrange another meetup soon! xx

Anonymous said...

Hi Nads, when an activity or hobby becomes slightly un-enjoyable then change is definitely needed. I hate it when something becomes a burden that you used to enjoy. It's likely that finishing at 3pm in July though will make it much easier to get back into the swing of things! xxx

Nadya said...

Roll on July :-)

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