Sunday, 6 December 2009


I've just read this article by Jonathan Raunch and although it made me chuckle it also rang very true. I'm not an anti-social person. I love having friends round for dinner, I spent a good portion of my 20s throwing parties and I'm confident in job interviews. I like to see the people I love as often as possible and usually hit it off with new people I meet. So I can't be an introvert, right? Buy why then, I ask myself, do I sometimes just need 'to be alone' (or 'alone' but in the company of someone else providing they are peaceful company - as my boyfriend, friends and family thankfully are); or why do I have to go and lie down alone in my hotel room for 2 hours the 3rd day into a work conference when everyone else seems to be happily whipping themselves up into a frenzy of frenetic 24-7 interaction with others? Why, unlike most women, is the phone not my best friend? Well, the essay really struck a chord. This self-confessed intovert explained that introverted people are not necessarily shy and they may in fact be very good at being social. Rather, they find other people (for me namely large groups of strangers or near-strangers) exhausting. And while many of them are happy to go to parties or partake in team-building exercises, this is usually followed by a need for down time. I was also in total agreement with the author on introverted women getting a lot of flack. I was lucky enough to learn years ago that I needed to be social to get on and be popular and I learnt how to 'act' in public. However, it hurts me that in my working environment my introverted male colleagues are known as quirky or 'special' and one particular female colleague who's very introverted (but in fact a great professional and hilarious when you get to know her) is seen as being unfriendly and stuck up. Just because she's a woman she's expected to be 'nurturing', have constant verbal diarrhoea and want to listen to and partake in gossiping about everyone. Even of you don't suspect yourself of being an introvert, it's worth reading this succinct article as it may give you a better understanding of why those around you act the way they do. And if you are an introvert it's just nice to read that your not the only one.


Andrew said...

A very interesting blog. There's definitely a pressure to be 'out there' in the modern world. You end up feeling like a failure because you're not acting like Timmy Mallot... Although, in my experience, most of the least secure people around are the ones making the most noise.

Nadya said...

It's true what you say about some extroverts being insecure... I think they're not always having as much fun as they appear to be. Still I wouldn't mind being more 'buubly' in the pre-Xmas party season!

Amy said...

Heh, I fawned over this same article a while back! Anyway, stopped in because I found you through some expat list... I'm getting ready to become one myself. Happy introverting!

Nadya said...

Happy expating Amy, hope you enjoy wherever you're going :-)

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